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WATCH: The Best of Black Friday Madness

- November 24, 2018

 

 

Ohhhhh yeah — Black Friday.

Deep discounts.

Christmas mania.

And…the worst humanity has to offer?

As we lament the harsh incivility of the modern political era, let us escape to a metaphorical soft pillow: society.

Here’s a roundup of the hoopla happenin’ yesterday as millions of Americans (and others elsewhere) got in their cars and jetted into town to all run into each other and kidney-punch their way through a furious dash to act completely insane. Or at least save 15% on the crappiest TV in the store.

Enjoy!

First up: Come on in, everybody. But try not to break the store:

Ahhh…just feel the Zen!

And to think I missed out on all that relaxation by staying home and eating chocolate-covered almonds.

At least everyone on the town was filled with holiday spirit:

It’s tough goin’ these days, and when you come across a deal, you gotta take it. By any means necessary. When it’s sink-or-swim, you always swim:

And when resources are limited, it’s survival of the fittest. “Honey, I’m going to Walmart. To steal from children”:

If Walmart’s a bit too intense for you, there’s always the store next-door. But lookout — they didn’t build it to accompany 800 people walking in simultaneously. To invoke Back to the Future, “Doors? Where we’re going, we don’t need doors”:

Maybe don’t try to take a shopping cart into the garage of madness:

Remember my line about the crappiest TV?

I didn’t think grocery stores had Black Friday sales. Was this the night before Y2K?

Let’s get in there. But don’t die — we’ll have to carry you. And definitely don’t fall down — we’ll have to drag you out of the way.

Was this from a WWE cage match?

In America, either go big or go home.

Here’s how wimpy people do Black Friday:

Wusses!

A tip of the hat to the particular mania of the small town of Hoover, Alabama: On Friday, two men got into a fight in front of Foot Action at the Riverchase Galleria. A 21-year-old shot an 18-year-old. In the melee, a 12-year-old was also struck by a bullet in the back. Both are still in the hospital. Police caught up with the shooter, who was brandishing his weapon, and killed him.

Police are now saying they may have killed the wrong man — they believe he was involved but not necessarily the murderer.

Hoover takes its Black Fridays seriously: Thanksgiving night 2017, the town also made national news when a fight broke out that led to cops, paramedics, and a complete closing of the mall.

Several years ago, at the same mall on Black Friday, one woman shot another over a parking place.

People in Alabama know four things: guns, barbeque, college football, and Black Friday madness.

If you missed yesterday’s lunacy, maybe check Cyber Monday for great deals on hockey padding and kevlar. No better time to get prepared for next year’s post-Turkey insanity — maybe we’ll take a RedState field trip to Hoover, Alabama.

 

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The post WATCH: The Best of Black Friday Madness appeared first on RedState.

 

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