[Screenshot from Grant Benson via YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbIBSBdGRek]
Not every crook went to Harvard.
Though, I’m sure some did.
Earlier, I covered the incredible story of a man who reported a crime to cops but failed to consider one breathtakingly important detail (here).
Here’s another headscratcher, as reported by good ol’ News Channel 5 in Nashville.
A man in Paducah, Kentucky had a big idea Monday night: Rob the local Country Inn and Suites.
How many people pay for their hotel stay with cash?
Aw, sometimes it’s better not to sweat the small stuff, like figuring out if there’ll be any dough where you’re gonna go thievin’.
The guy ran into the hotel with his mask and his gun and went rip-roarin’ into the annals of criminal history.
At first, he found the lobby empty, so he let himself behind the desk. The clerk returned to find him at the register and, from the looks of the security video, she ordered him back to the customer’s side. At a point, the crook climbed on top of the desk, and she pushed him the heck off.
She then tossed what looked like a pile of loose bills from a stripper stage onto the counter.
The dude had clearly forgotten to bring a bag.
But sometimes it’s better not to worry about the little things, like how you’re gonna carry the loot.
The benevolent lady gave him a plastic bag.
Some of the money fell into the floor, so he had to pick all that up. In the process, he seems to have accidentally spilled out the rest.
He had quite the mess to pick up and get stuffed into that thin, crinkly bag, and a man’s only got two hands, so…
The guy laid his firearm on the counter while he took care of stealin’.
Sometimes it better not to fret over where you leave your gun while you’re performing armed robbery.
From the video, you can imagine the wheels turning in the woman’s head.
The guy’s up, he’s down, he’s turned around…
There’s the gun…
Finally, while’s he’s lollygaggin’ in the floor, she grabs the pistol. He lunges for it, too, but she wins.
The thief skeedaddled.
The end.
Just kidding: For some unknown reason, the guy came back into the hotel all “I’m Mr. Big Pants.”
He demanded she give him the gun.
She demanded that she didn’t, and she checked the piece to make sure it was ready for a fatal firing.
He climbed over the counter as she pointed the hand cannon at center mass.
This time, the unwanted guest decided it was time to check out of the hotel.
As it turned out, the gun had been reported stolen from a home on Adams Street in Paducah on September 20th.
Inside one Cory T. Phillips’s car was found a computer from the same Adams Street hit. The 26-year-old had been pulled over for not wearing his seatbelt.
The guy clearly needs to take a course on safety.
He’s been charged with first-degree robbery and receiving stolen property.
If his fellow inmates catch wind of the video, something tells me he’s gonna have a hard time in the Joint.
But perhaps he’s got an even bigger mass of folks ready to give him a bit of What For, about half a state’s worth: During the robbery, he was wearing an Alabama Crimson Tide hat. Folks in Bama don’t appreciate their team being used for ill.
It’s a good thing he didn’t attempt the stunt in the Heart of Dixie; they don’t have to reach for the counter — I promise you, they’ve got their own.
-ALEX
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